It has been longer than planned since I last posted, but I’m still here trying. I have officially had my last day with my preceptor and my next shift (tomorrow) I’ll be on my own. I know that I can ask another co-worker for help (I hope), but it is still a scary and exciting milestone.
Things that have popped in my head: It is interesting to me what family members will tell the nurse, but will not tell the patient AKA their family member/loved one. For example: “I’m kicking them out of the house and I really do not care where they go from here, but please don’t tell them because I am not telling them today.” Okay. It is not my information to tell, or is it?? I just hoped my patient would not ask, but lucky me “what did so-and-so say to you at the desk?”. In nursing school they tell you about advocating for your patient, but where does this fall? I can’t be the one to tell them this information, I also do not want to lie and have them found out I knew, and I do not want to break the trust of the family member at the same time. Yikes! Next: “Their beloved dog of 12 years is dying and I am afraid they will leave AMA if they know, just wanted to make you aware of the situation, please don’t [AGAIN] say anything.” Great. Just call me the lying two faced nurse because I am over here hoarding secrets from my patients.
In other news, I started my new nurse residency program this week. I have mixed feelings about it. I think I am glad to have it because ever since moving (oh yeah I now live in a new city where I know no one) I have had a hard timing making friends so I looked forward to that aspect of it. However, when I got there, somehow everyone knew each other. Maybe they went to the same nursing school? Luckily I am introverted and shy enough to see this as a complete road block to being open to new friends. Did I mention I am a fan of sarcasm? 🙂
The truth is I truly enjoy being alone. I like shopping alone, watching TV alone, going for coffee alone, etc. I am so picky about friends that I usually end up with none. I tell myself I am looking for quality not quantity and quality has yet to shove it’s face in mine and force me into friendship…?
Back to nursing. I have had the pleasure of being “fired” from caring for one patient and then five minutes later walking into another room with nothing but gratitude from another patient for “taking such great care” of them. I want to educate people so badly on their situation, but sometimes people do not like this. “I’ve been in a hospital before, I know everything about high blood pressure.” Who needs me? Maybe I should go in the break room then and kick my feet up and take shots of mountain dew. I need to let it go clearly.
Patient ratios. Yikes! I feel like I went into nursing to care for people holistically, not scan them like a can of vegetables and bag’em up fast to get to the next joker in line. Don’t get me wrong, I do my best. I have actually been impressed with how well I am at not skipping steps and still trying to do all I can for people. I could do so much more though with fewer patients not to mention learn more. Right now our ratios are 1:5. This is not a med surge floor. This is progressive care on steroids.
Things to work on: time management. I do not mind being busy as long as am getting things accomplished. Charting will most certainly be the death of me.
So many more thoughts…… Must. Post. More. Often.
Until next time,
P.S. I stopped watching Grey’s Anatomy, gag.
P.S.S. I’m trying to read more and watch less. Currently reading “Truly Madly Guilty” by Liane Moriarty (love love double love “What Alice Forgot” by her and she also wrote “Big Little Lies” that was made into a series available on HBO) as well as “The Rule of Thought” which is the second book in The Mortality Doctrine by James Dashner (author of The Maze Runner series). The two polar opposite genres of these books, along with the fact that I am in the middle of both, describe me in a nutshell. 🙂